GOOD-BYE, BING
OMIGOD! I thought the minute I read my daughter's text that told me her Tito Bing had died two nights before. Bing was the youngest brother of my ex-husband (marriage annulled) and once he was quite close to me. On the very day I received the text at 1:00 pm he was going to be cremated. And I had many things to do. Had to write my column. Had to finish and deliver some jewellry. So I rushed to finish both and got there late.
But never mind. I was really there to condole with the rest of the family. I could have said good-bye to Bing from home. Once you die you belong to a bigger larger cosmos and are available from anywhere. These days I don't grieve so much about people dying. I feel they cross over to a new life so we should wish them luck and joy. They will once again see their parents who have gone before them. They will adventure into a different kind of world and once again discover the magic of something new. Sometimes I envy them and actually look forward to my death too.
When I got married I think Bing was around twelve. We were an instant click, good friends. Then I tried to teach him math. He didn't learn and I know I didn't teach well. But nevertheless we were still chatty together.
My sisters-in-law -- Chini, Chit, Jamie, Didi, Bochi -- and I were quite close. We were childhood friends who had met before I even met (and married) their older brother. I remember an afternoon I spent with them at their home in UP when we were all seated in the garden gossiping about their older brother and what a playboy he was. We were joined by Winky Collas, who I later confused with her sister Winnie. I don't know why that moment never erased itself from my memory.
Okay, the inevitable question. Why do I still remain connected to my in-laws when I am no longer connected to the husband? I don't know either. I think it's because I was an only child and did not have a big family -- just my mother and me. So when I married into a big family I embraced them all. Also in the case of the Tapales family, we were friends before I married. I was closest to Jamie, who was like my sister really. She was my maid of honor. We both once worked in advertising. We had so much in common. But I was also close to all the other sisters. I love them all. And there is one more brother Boldy, who is as funny as Jamie. I love him too.
The last time I saw Bing was maybe three years ago. I went to the Loudes fiesta in Quezon City. Mila Santos-Viola (I don't know her married name), their first cousin, invited me so I went. Only Bing was there and we sat together and talked and laughed together all that time. Bing was wonderful company and I loved him.
Love is what connects us to a family, I think. Special memories and quips. A comfort in their company. Shared laughter. Sad and happy memories that are not erased by distance or time. Something we can pick up at any time and then always find ourselves happy for each other.
Now we live far from each other. They live in Alabang. I will be moving to San Juan. But never mind. We will be getting in touch again. I am sure of that.
So much time has passed since I last -- what is the correct term -- blogged? Two years, almost. I cannot believe it. It feels like something serious must have happened. Maybe I died. But in truth, I have been alive -- in varying degrees, yes -- but breathing anyway.
I don't really remember why I stopped. But never mind. Maybe now I can continue to write a blog whenever I feel like. Like tonight. Tuesday night, 14 January 2014. I came back from a StemTech training meeting with my new StemTech friends. Had fun, laughed a lot, but that's not what moved me to write again.
I decided to leave at 4:30, whether or not the meeting was finished, to avoid coming home at rush hour. The thickness of the traffic from around 5:00 pm upward drives me mad. I am growing old, you see, and now realize that as one grows older her patience goes the other direction. Have you ever seen a patient child? There is no such thing. I have about as much patience as a five-year-old these days. A small provocation can bring on a tantrum.
As I was waiting for my car a young lady who I saw attending the conference came out and called, Ms. Gonzalez, Ms. Gonzalez . . . I turned around and smiled at her. She took my hand and shook it. I just wanted to meet you. All these years I have been reading you. My children are grown up now and I'm a widow already. I read your articles and your book How Do You Know Your Pearls Are Real? My name is Leah.
Thank you, I said. Still smiling. I wanted to say more things but since she surprised me I found myself tongue-tied. Do you sell Stem Enhance? I ask rather recklessly. I mean, that's where we were, at a training session.
I'm just starting to. I arrived late. I will try to.
Yes, please try to. It's a great product. I would have told her about my experience with Stem Enhance, how I found it, how it helped me. But my car arrived and she seemed in a rush to return.
She took my hand again and said, My name is Leah.
Yes, I said, and watched her return to the training.
So I came home and decided to look up my blogspot, found it and decided to write in it again just to discover what it's like. I write for the Star on Saturdays, every Saturday, but these days sometimes I think I will quit. The only thing preventing me from doing that is what will happen to the money I earn from the column, not much but enough to pay my driver's salary. But it gives me a voice and I kind of enjoy receiving texts of agreement or disagreement. At least I have people to connect with.
I thought maybe I should also revive my blog and talk to a younger audience. So here I am once again, hoping I won't bore you.
So that's the news. Once Tweetums disappeared but now -- watch out -- the funky old lady is back!
