GOOD-BYE, BING
But never mind. I was really there to condole with the rest of the family. I could have said good-bye to Bing from home. Once you die you belong to a bigger larger cosmos and are available from anywhere. These days I don't grieve so much about people dying. I feel they cross over to a new life so we should wish them luck and joy. They will once again see their parents who have gone before them. They will adventure into a different kind of world and once again discover the magic of something new. Sometimes I envy them and actually look forward to my death too.
When I got married I think Bing was around twelve. We were an instant click, good friends. Then I tried to teach him math. He didn't learn and I know I didn't teach well. But nevertheless we were still chatty together.
My sisters-in-law -- Chini, Chit, Jamie, Didi, Bochi -- and I were quite close. We were childhood friends who had met before I even met (and married) their older brother. I remember an afternoon I spent with them at their home in UP when we were all seated in the garden gossiping about their older brother and what a playboy he was. We were joined by Winky Collas, who I later confused with her sister Winnie. I don't know why that moment never erased itself from my memory.
Okay, the inevitable question. Why do I still remain connected to my in-laws when I am no longer connected to the husband? I don't know either. I think it's because I was an only child and did not have a big family -- just my mother and me. So when I married into a big family I embraced them all. Also in the case of the Tapales family, we were friends before I married. I was closest to Jamie, who was like my sister really. She was my maid of honor. We both once worked in advertising. We had so much in common. But I was also close to all the other sisters. I love them all. And there is one more brother Boldy, who is as funny as Jamie. I love him too.
The last time I saw Bing was maybe three years ago. I went to the Loudes fiesta in Quezon City. Mila Santos-Viola (I don't know her married name), their first cousin, invited me so I went. Only Bing was there and we sat together and talked and laughed together all that time. Bing was wonderful company and I loved him.
Love is what connects us to a family, I think. Special memories and quips. A comfort in their company. Shared laughter. Sad and happy memories that are not erased by distance or time. Something we can pick up at any time and then always find ourselves happy for each other.
Now we live far from each other. They live in Alabang. I will be moving to San Juan. But never mind. We will be getting in touch again. I am sure of that.